by AUSTIN ZHANG

While Rex Vowels echoes with the chatter of naïve first years, the sound of crickets fills the Ritchie Auditorium. The majority of the cohort conspicuously absent, it appears many New Year’s resolutions will go unfulfilled.

Despite promises of increased effort and exemplar lecture attendance filling the air last November, 2nd year students have come to present a poor example to 1st years, especially when it comes to lectures.

“My body just sort of forgets to wake up,” claims Timmy Little, a prime example of the culprits. “Today’s lectures were probably low-yield anyway.” Rarely seen on campus, he was tracked down to the Library Lawn, found consuming concerning quantities of coffee while desperately holding back a yawn.

“Tomorrow? I’ll see how I feel tonight. If I’m in the mood.”

When questioned on his former enthusiasm and motivation, Timmy declined to further comment.

Other students report making rookie mistakes. “I walked into Clancy as usual, but the lecturer never turned up… The empty seats? I just thought no-one else was coming.”

Many students appear nonchalant. “I’m not too worried about it, I’ll just start going next week.” Sentiments are good, as the holiday high wears off.

This culture of absenteeism is already beginning to filter through to the younger cohort. Meet Your Mentors reports the lowest attendance rate in 3 years, with more pizza to go around than ever. “I spent more time eating than teaching,” says one lucky mentor.

“It’s not examined… right?” Many 1st years blame their absence on academic stress. “I was there at first, but during the games I heard something about TNF-a. Everyone seemed to already know about it… never realised I was already behind.” This particular student reports his favourite place on campus to be Level 7 of the library. “That’s where they keep the medical textbooks.”

What’s the future of UNSW lectures? Only time can tell. While upcoming assignments are sure to drain all but the most dedicated students, the threat of upcoming exams will likely inspire a few of the less reluctant as well.

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