North Shore Boy Claims to Prefer Macquarie Medical School for Educational Opportunity

Lachlan, a North Shore private school boy, has sworn that he “got offered UNSW but chose Macquarie because it’s a better course,” when he bumped into several members of The Jugular, who were at the Randwick Racecourse for a team outing.

“Macquarie is a younger program and the exchange to India will be spiritually awakening, I can just tell you know. Only like four UNSW students get to go Oslo. Like, come on. You telling me they got the sweeter deal? Haha, no sir. Macquarie was always my first choice.”

Throughout the impromptu interview at Randwick Racecourse, he was particularly distracted by a race upon which he had bet a great deal of money. Nonetheless, he had the presence of mind to shout two of the female members of our team expensive cocktails and loudly placed a $100 trifecta bet, saying that if he wins, he’d have the money to take us all out for dinner.

He noted that a lot of people look down on Macquarie, but said “actually, a lot of us are on scholarships”, avoiding eye contact. “I mean, any idiot can get an offer to UNSW or wherever, and sure, paying to get into med is wrong, but you can’t paint with a broad brush. You don’t know my circumstances, I could be someone from say… out west.”

The young man became hostile when asked to back up his claims by one of the male members of our team. He offered to bet his Rolex on the fact that his ATAR was higher than our reporter’s, loudly displaying the watch in question and declaring “you don’t know me from a bar of soap bro”.

Our conversation was interrupted again as the race finished and he said with a smile and a nudge that he had won.

“Look, I’ve got a studio apartment in the CBD tonight, so why don’t you meet me at mine around eight. Wear something nice”. Our team made a hasty get-away as he went unaccompanied to collect his winnings.

 

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