Med Fresher Figuring Out How to Slip Her ATAR Into Every Conversation

“Not gonna lie, I honestly procrastinated so hard during Year Twelve.”

Last Thursday, a med fresher and recent graduate of the illustrious institution James Ruse, by the name of Kylie Wu, slipped into a post-SG conversation in which members reflected fondly on high school sports. While her peers spoke with nostalgia about their legendary interschool sports competitions, Ms Wu informed them that her hand-eye coordination was ‘god-awful’ and “even though [she] never did sports in high school to save her piano fingers”, she proclaimed “I know not how, but I scraped a 99.90”.

Wu’s shocking ATAR disclosure is not an isolated case, with dozens of other victims coming forward about a select few attempting to flex on their peers by dropping the ever subtle Sydney Uni free hoodie bomb on various conversations around Wallace Wurth. A cultish obsession as old as time itself piqued the curiosity of the Jugular investigative team and our reporters sampled the experiences of med freshers regarding the stereotypical peacocking exhibited by high achievers of 2018.

Fay Smith, born and raised in Johannesburg, recalls her interaction with Wu on Monday, “Look, she seemed like a nice girl but there are definitely some loose screws up there… [gestures to the head] She didn’t even ask for my name but started the conversation with whether I also was an all-rounder. I told her I didn’t go to high school here and she just straight up ended the convo.”

Arjun Singh, another precocious medical student, revealed that “Yeah as soon as she heard I went to Sydney Grammar, she started asking all sorts of questions. First, what subjects I did. Then, what my school’s rank was.” Singh left us with Wu’s final blow, “She told me not to be embarrassed because rank third is still good just like how she’s still happy with her ATAR, even though she didn’t dux.”

When approached by the Jugular team for her opinion on the ATAR obsession sweeping the first years, Wu disclosed “I don’t understand the obsession, to be perfectly honest with you. I don’t even really like telling people… It’s just all conversations end up tunnelling towards my ATAR, and it’s not like I’m going to hide my 99.90.”

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