BY J.K Lolling

On Monday, a day after MedCamp, a horde of first years were seen filtering into Wallace Wurth with croaky voices that regaled outrageous stories of their shared weekend to anyone that would listen. Sagging with absolute exhaustion, the mere mention of MedCamp caused them to perk up when our reporters interviewed them.

Dayde Liev Herr is a first year who had a rice purity score of 99 before MedCamp. Now, however, he has lost over a hundred points, his score coming to a grand total of -11.

“By the end of the Toga Party, half the liquid in my entire body was made up of goon.” The James Ruse graduate reminisced with a dreamy expression on his face. Herr said that his rice purity score was 99 before MedCamp, but now his score came to a grand total of -11.

“I spent a lot of time with the First Aid officer on both nights. I think we’re the bestest of friends now.” Herr said. When the First Aid officer, a busy 6th year, was approached about this claim, his only response was to give our reporter a dirty look and walk away.

“I spent more time without clothes at MedCamp than with clothes on. Thanks to MedCamp I feel more in tune with my body and I’ve realised, the best way to live is in our body’s uncovered glory, as Mother Nature intended.” Another fresher, Nate Kedd, said as he strolled into Wallace Wurth, past the automatic doors with all his unmentionables out on display*.

Soso Taihed, a MedCamp Leader, talked about how much fun she had as a leader, even though she only got four hours total of sleep over the weekend. Her favourite moment from this year’s MedCamp was when the first years broke the world record for most people streaking at one time. “It’s a shame that we couldn’t submit it to the Guinness book of records because there was no film evidence – for obvious reasons of course.” She said about it.

When asked if MedCamp had any educational components to it at all, Taihed replied, “Well, quite a few freshers got some invaluable experience with live specimens of the male and female reproductive systems. They’ve now got the type of insight into anatomy that the practicals and tutorials could never impart.”

A rare species of fresher, who still had their rice purity score above 90 even after MedCamp, said that they had so much fun at MedCamp even without alcohol. At night, they danced to banger after banger (all of which were under the Primary School Dance genre) and during the day, forged the strongest friendship bonds through making memorable and wholesome memories with fellow freshers.

*Not even ten minutes after the Jugular interviewed him, Kedd was escorted off UNSW’s campus by security.

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