By Thy Pham; Edited by Rosie Kirk

It’s coming up to med interview season, when med-hopefuls from across the globe hustle to secure a place at UNSW. We’ve put together a foolproof guide to help YOU ace YOUR interviews. 

The DOs

1. Proclaim to have loved medicine ever since you came out of the womb.

2. Mention your desire to become a cardiothoracic surgeon or anaesthetist AT LEAST three times.

3. Mention your love for science and people, which inspired you to choose medicine.

4. Maintain eye contact through the whole interview without breaking it once, to establish dominance and assert yourself as a self-confident individual.

5. Memorise responses to all interview questions and recite them off by heart.

6. Gingerly place your hand on your left pectoral and recite the Hippocratic oath, taking care to pause for dramatic effect.

7. Emphasise that you want to become a doctor to help people.

8. Shake the interviewer’s hand vigorously, again, to establish dominance.

9. If asked about your biggest weakness, answer by talking about your perfectionistic tendencies and desire to perfect everything you touch, taking care to mention your sincere disappointment of only achieving a 99.90 ATAR and 3590 UCAT. 

10. After the interview finishes, stand up and assume a bodybuilder stance, flexing your hands and demonstrating your architecturally perfect form. Optional: perform a Tiktok dance and invite them to join you.Ask the interviews why THEY want to interview you and watch as they look at you with absolute adoration.

The DON’Ts

1. DON’T smile – glare at the interviewer and occasionally growl or snarl to remind your interviewer that you are the alpha.

2. DON’T nod your head – shake your head vigorously. By doing this you will stimulate the effect of a disco ball, thus subconsciously alerting the interviewer to your utter superiority.

3. DON’T move – stay still for your whole interview to demonstrate your genetically superior ability to stay calm and maintain control under pressure.

Best of luck to all med hopefuls this upcoming season! You guys have got this – and remember, establish dominance.

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