By A ChubbyEmu Parody Disclaimer: Not entirely factually accurate, seek your own doctor for medical advice Written by Jason Lin; Edited by Zoe Wei J.C. is a 21-year-old man presenting to the emergency room unconscious. His roommate, Lachlan, tells the admitting nurse that he found J.C. collapsed on his bedroom floor,
Offshore
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Zoe Wei “Second-year international offshore students are returning soon.” The time is too early in the morning (or too late at night). You are an offshore medical student, waking up for class in a time zone that stays the same, for a country whose time
Emoji Overuse: The newest epidemic plaguing medical students
By Geraldine Yang; Edited by Allyson Tai The NSW Health Department has issued a Public Service Announcement alert regarding the rapid spread of the neurodegenerative disease, Emoji Overuse Syndrome. There are currently 725 confirmed cases nation-wide. Initially discovered amongst UNSW Medicine students on Facebook, the disease has since spread to
Snake Oil Salesmen: From Omega-3 to Quack Remedies
By Mansimran Loyal; Edited by Katerina Theocharous The phrase ‘snake oil salesmen’ conjures images of sleazy businessmen, peddling worthless, overpriced products to unsuspecting customers. Today, it is commonly used to describe self-proclaimed health and lifestyle experts pushing “cure-all” elixirs and quick fixes, found everywhere from Instagram and shopping centres to
The Fire that Consumes Us
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Katerina Theocharous The thing about burning out, is that you have to be on fire first. You’ve probably heard about burnout plenty of times from MedFac – maybe you even did your Foundies assignment on it. Something something ‘50% of UNSW medical students experience mental
The Apple Tree
By Hannah Yuan; Edited by Allyson Tai They say the human body is made up of millions of individual cells that communicate with each other by firing neurons and synapses, sparks and live-wire. When we age, they degenerate. The ends wither away and those once electric connections become muted and
6 Things You SHOULD Do in Lockdown
By Jason Lin; Edited by Zoe Wei I must be honest, the title of this article is quite the misnomer. There will be no uplifting barrage of tips and tricks for you to stay healthy, nothing motivational, nothing inspirational and there will be nothing remotely close to advice. In fact,
BREAKING NEWS: Med student completes bucket list & finds cure for cancer instead of catching up on lectures
By Geraldine Yang; Edited by Yaron Gu Local first-year medical student, Nate Shen, has made headlines by doing literally everything in his will to avoid catching up on uni work – inadvertently finding the cure for cancer in the process. Nate, who lives by the motto “If you wait until
Five Types of Students You’ll Encounter In Online Uni – Which One Are You?
By Jay Patel; Edited by Zoe Wei 1) The one with conveniently terrible internet This person is never seen with their camera on during tutorials or scenario groups. Turning their microphone on takes ages, and when they do, they either sound like a distressed kitten or Darth Vader. Although they
Lockdown II
By Saleha Sehgol; Edited by Yaron Gu Tabula rasaOr back to square one?That mask,Second skin.Seasoned hecklers,Second season.Peak hour drones,A haunting threnody of cicadas and mynas.To every crevice this hollowness reaches –Not quite, for it fails to appease the beaches. Crimson fury dribbles and spitsHow are the bearings still not
Musings on Lockdown
By Hannah Yuan; Edited by Katerina Theocharous This piece was written on 27th June 2021, at the onset of the current NSW lockdown. Given the recent extensions of the lockdown, we believe its messages are now even more relevant. ~~~ “Like swallows, like salmon, we were the helpless captives of
The Month of Pride and Prejudice
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Zoe Wei June, the dreaded month when we realise that all our New Year Resolutions have not come to fruition; questioning our lives as the mid-year glazes over us and the end of the year nears; wondering what on earth we have been doing for
A World Without Oxygen – The Devastating Impacts of India’s Recent COVID-19 Spike
By Jay Patel; Edited by Yaron Gu April 24: 10:50 am – Ajay Koli boards a flight from Pune in western India to New Delhi to see his parents who are infected with COVID-19. His father is hospitalised and hooked up to an oxygen cylinder, whilst his mother is in
Types of People You Meet at Medcamp
By Jason Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharous Medcamp. Crowds, parties and poignant memories. Among the claustrophobic hordes of nascent, flourishing medical students, a few clusters of people have their heads bobbing slightly higher than the rest. These are the students who stand out in one way or another, defined by
FAIR IS FOUL, FOUL IS FAIR – A Commentary on the Silent Modern Day Killer: Societal Apathy
Written by Saleha Sehgol; Edited by Allyson Tai “Fair is foul, foul is fair.” Though the words were written by Shakespeare well into the 17th century, I fear the alliterative statement is more relevant than ever. I fear we’ve become accustomed to slapping on the bandaid, ‘it’s just the way
The Great White Tower (2003-04) – When Medical Ethics and Ambition Collide
Written by Geraldine Yang; Edited by Zoe Wei Through its 21 episode runtime, The Great White Tower ultimately begs the question: what will we sacrifice in the name of our desires? Because, as we quickly learn, there is no such thing as action without consequence. When the lives of patients
HE SAID, SHE SAID: Violence against women, when will it stop?
Written by Hannah Yuan; Edited by Yaron Gu They say, don’t wear revealing clothing. They say, don’t walk home alone at night. They say, she was “asking for it”. She has grown up in a world that puts her at fault. That tells her that she is to blame. That
Medical student takes P- history, blames lack of empathy on MBTI type
Written by Mansimran Loyal; Edited by Katerina Theocharous When first-year student Mike Wazowski logged onto Teams last Friday, he was sure that he was about to experience an ordinary clinical skills session, an ordinary attempt at history-taking, and ordinary feedback consisting of straight Ps and a 2-word comment, probably ‘good
Meddie gets off at ANZAC Parade – Discovers there’s another side to UNSW…
By Jay Patel; Edited by Yaron Gu He channelled his inner Naruto as his feet kissed the cool, concrete pavements of Central Station’s south concourse. Arms stretched out behind him, Wally detonated from the dreary morning crowds just as the sliding doors of the light rail squeezed shut behind him.
What to watch to procrastinate on your assignments: Recommendations from our Pubs Subcomm 2021!
By Jerrica Kuan; Edited by Katerina Theocharous Hello, fellow meddies! A whole new school year has begun, and after 2020, who else is excited to return to campus? (Shoutout to the international students like me who are still stuck overseas and waiting for that day to arrive 😢). Nevertheless, our
#73045 Looking for Tachycardia: A UNSW Med Student’s Plea for Love
By Thy Pham; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama After studying medicine for one year, I’ve crafted a new personality and have had three identity crises. Despite this, my desire for love is strong – it immensely saddens me to find out that everyone’s been linking up in the lead up to
“I’m quitting med to become a TikTok star”
By Sarah Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharous Kitty Dok, a 7th year student, has recently revealed that she is quitting her medical studies in order to devote herself to the art of TikTok. The Jugular conducted an interview to investigate the mysterious past of the new TikTok star. Q. Why
The Art of Ending It All: What makes a good ending?
By Ivan Shen; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama Endings to stories come in many different shapes or forms. They can be very detailed in resolving every small plot point of a story, or they can seem sudden and open-ended. Some narratives hold your hand and walk with you along a very
EXCLUSIVE: Med student comes clean with MedFac in reflection
By Sarah Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharus Recently, the Jugular had the honour of reviewing an exemplary reflection piece provided by a fellow med student, who claims that her honesty earned her a P+ in her reflective practitioner grad cap. “I’d never actually considered being honest in a reflection before,”
An Alpha Chad Guide to Acing Med Interviews
By Thy Pham; Edited by Rosie Kirk It’s coming up to med interview season, when med-hopefuls from across the globe hustle to secure a place at UNSW. We’ve put together a foolproof guide to help YOU ace YOUR interviews. The DOs 1. Proclaim to have loved medicine ever since you
The Two Day Rule
By Jacky Jiang; Edited by Rosie Kirk While the freedom to do what I want when I want is something that I highly value, this year has taught me that there is such a thing as too much freedom. I had no morning bus to catch. Lectures were all prerecorded.
The Comfort in End of Life Dreams & Visions
By Ivan Shen; Edited by Kaitlin Zhong As Benjamin Franklin once wrote in a letter, nothing is certain but death and taxes. However, while it seems that it is possible to avoid taxes, we have yet to figure out a way to evade death. The concept of death carries a
Hippocrates – the not-so-perfect Father of Medicine
By Thulashigan Sreeharan, Edited by Nipuni Hapangama On Father’s Day this year, the medical profession looked back at its estranged relationship with long-deceased dad Hippocrates (circa 460-375 B.C.). Little is known about the founding father of medicine, but doctors are convinced he was a good dude. After all, he sowed
Cutting the Line of Communication with Detention Centres
By Eleanor Hall “I have always said that I believe in words and literature. I believe that literature has the potential to make change and challenge structures of power. Literature has the power to give us freedom.” These were the words of Behrouz Boochachi, a refugee who spent six years
A Love Letter to Wallace Wurth
By Thy Pham; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama Dearest Wallace, I miss you so much. I miss how boisterous you were. I miss your sleek, aesthetic, architecturally superior, sparkling grey and silver layout. I miss the ping pong table, the broken ping pong balls, the worn paddles. I miss the close
Stupidity: The other pandemic affecting medical students in COVID-19
By Sarah Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharus With the COVID-19 pandemic progressively worsening both in Victoria and in Australia, we have been exposed to daily reports of soaring case numbers, increasing death rates, and ever-decreasing number of pubs open. While these are all extremely important, they have distracted us from
Quarantine Binge – Medical Kdrama Review (Part 2): Hospital Playlist
By Ivan Shen; Edited by Kaitlin Zhong Although I really enjoyed Doctor John and hoped its thought-provoking themes indicated a new trend for medical kdramas, I still doubted there would ever be another one that deserved even higher praise. But Hospital Playlist (2020) is not only one of the best
Doctors Anonymous
By Jacky Jiang; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama Having recently fallen into a slump and losing all the motivation I had to study, I’ve had to take a step back and reassess my situation. Why have I been this way and what can I do about it? Of course, a lack
Expedition Medicine – For Daring Doctors
Image: An emergency medic on Mount Everest (© CNN) By Thulashigan Sreeharan; Edited by Katerina Theocharous When we picture where our medical careers will take us, we often see ourselves sequestered in an operating room, hospital ward or private clinic. Perhaps that’s why my ears prick up whenever I hear
The New Normal: Stay Safe, Stay Hopeful
By Mansimran Loyal; Edited by Rosie Kirk We have been told many times that living alongside COVID-19 is our ‘new normal’. As I write this in a Stage 3 lockdown (again) in Victoria, my expectations of ‘normal’ have drastically changed. I would never have imagined my first year of uni
MEDFAC Bans Use of the Word ‘COVID-19’ in eMed Portfolio
By Thy Pham, Edited by Nipuni Hapangama It’s one hour before eMed portfolio submissions are due, and I’m ready to submit my sophisticated piece of work. I’ve outlined all my grad caps, taking care to use my one P- to portray my gruelling journey towards straight P+’s. I add in
Quarantine Binge – Medical Kdrama Review (Part 1): Dr John
By Ivan Shen; Edited by Kaitlin Zhong Medical kdramas are notorious for all feeling the same despite their drastically different characters and set-ups. Our main characters are always neurosurgeons and are highly skilled but ethically controversial in their actions. There’s always some romantic development which develops within the surgical theatre
“I failed my EOC thanks to Nach King”
By Sarah Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharus Bernie Bernard Jnr. remembers the day he received that dreaded email from Medfac. It stated that he, Bernie, the self-acclaimed light, honour and glory of the Bernard family, had just failed his EOC exam. As Bernie describes it, that moment was undoubtedly the
Moving Out
By Brian Feng, Edited by Jennifer Qian This table makes me question why Sutherland campus exists. Like…why? Does it exist as a hole for the damned, for those whose stars did not align? Consistent with the metaphysical claim that good cannot exist without evil, I guess popularity cannot exist without
Conspiracy Theories: A Rising Threat
By Jacky Jiang You may have heard of the idea that the COVID-19 pandemic was orchestrated by Bill Gates – arguably the most influential philanthropist in the world – so that trackable microchips could be injected into everyone via vaccination. Or maybe you’ve heard that the implementation of 5G networks
HOTTEST GOSS: The REAL WAY to use BBCollab
By Sarah Lin; Edited by Katerina Theocharous Have you been introduced to BBCollab? That’s right, the hottest online teaching platform of choice! Are you having trouble navigating its fluid and powerful controls? Feeling intimidated by its high resolution, cinematic sound quality, and stable connection? Don’t fret, The Jugular has you
Police Brutality: A disease infecting not just the US, but Australia too
By Jess Sawang; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are advised that this article contains references to deceased persons. The year is 2020. We are in the middle of a worldwide pandemic and have been for a few months now. But there is another pandemic, one
Beetles, Bottles and the Brain – What is it all really?
By Thulashigan Sreeharan; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama The past few months have been a mix of idleness and turbulent upheaval. They have reminded us of the uncertainty in existence and death’s finality. As soon-to-be doctors, we will have to accept defeat in the war against death – but what exactly
How Do You Buy Happiness?
By Jacky Jiang; Edited by Nipuni Hapangama We’re all familiar with the phrase ‘money can’t buy happiness’. Teachers, self-help books and even ‘successful’ entrepreneurs seem to love drilling the idea into our heads. There is, of course, validity in their words; they encourage us to pursue a career for fulfillment
HEART BEEN BROKE: A First-year’s Journey to Finding Love on UNSW Love Letters
By Thy Pham, Edited by Katerina Theocharous The Jugular is honoured to EXCLUSIVELY present this first look at HEART BEEN BROKE, a world-class blog produced throughout this quarantine period by one of our very own first-year students. Nevah Lone talks us through her heartbreaking journey to find love via UNSW
BREAKING NEWS: New University Protection Measures Announced for COVID Re-opening
By Mansimran Loyal, Edited by Nipuni Hapangama How willing are you to get back to ‘normal’ during a pandemic? UNSW recently announced that all campuses could be reopened in the upcoming months if students and staff are willing to abide by new protection measures.In a statement released yesterday, the university
Moving Clinical Skills to Animal Crossing
By Sarah Lin If there is one industry booming during this era of social distancing and quarantine, it would undoubtedly be the gaming industry. Within such troubled times, people have escaped society to bury themselves into the virtual world behind gaming screens. One game that has taken over by storm
Why Do We Learn?
By Ivan Shen, Edited by Rosemary Kirk A few weeks ago, my lovely SG facilitator Professor Peter Baume told our group that collectively, the world’s knowledge in the medical field doubles every 18 months. While this is an incredible statistic representative of the rapid progress of modern research and innovation,
kintsugi: the art of repair
By Jess Sawang
A love letter to ol’ Rona
By Anonymous, Edited by Katerina Theocharous Dear Corona, You’ve had me reeling through a cocktail of emotions these last couple weeks. When I first laid eyes on you, I was spellbound by those luscious curls of RNA and infectious looks. You were so well-travelled and talking about the celebrities you’d
0.1%
By Ivan Shen Recently, having found myself washing my hands more frequently than I otherwise would, I took a chance to actually read the labelling on my soap. Of course, we are all familiar with the common phrase “It kills 99.9% of germs”. It is always that number 99.9%, never
“How am I gonna flirt in online classes?” complains student
By Jacky Jiang “What a time to be alive!” seems to be the shared sentiment amidst these truly unprecedented times. It has now been three weeks since the fateful transition to online learning. Just last week, we provided you with an EXCLUSIVE, unfiltered insight into the daily routine of a
By Myself
By Brian Feng Enjoy listening to this while you read: I wake up And stare at the ceiling,Phone alarm beeping,I feel tired.Don’t feel like doing anything.I lay in bed,In its warm embraceAs I scroll through TikToks. Swipe,Laugh,Comment,Smile,Double tap for a heart.I forward them to my friendsHoping they will laugh too. Earphones
Cue the Crickets! – More Awkwardness with Online Classes
By Thulashigan Sreeharan The Jugular is committed to providing up-to-date news during these uncertain times. UNSW is now seven days into lockdown, and as Wally looks emptier than most MedSoc council meetings, we decided to do some House style sleuthing into what our students are up to. Our finest reporter
The Certainty of This Uncertainty
By Shaddy Hanna What is it about our current situation that leaves us so unnerved, so disturbed, and so perturbed? Is it our lack of control? Is it the overwhelming sense of insecurity and instability? Or is it the fear of the unknown? I’m sure it’s many of the above,
“Where are my scrubs?” – Surgeons Left Fuming
By Thulashigan Sreeharan Doctors at a certain Western Sydney hospital are scratching their heads over the sudden disappearance of several hundred scrubs. Due to the shortage, surgeons have reportedly needed to perform major procedures wearing cooking aprons and lab coats. Jugular reporters interviewed a senior staff member at the hospital.
Water Clock
By Sandra Goria “Dreams and Disillusionment in Medicine” Writing Competition Winner “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” – John Keats, Ode to a Grecian Urn Two days before the start of my first day of Medical School. We sat on the
Blameless
By Jonathan Cheng “Dreams and Disillusionment in Medicine” Writing CompetitionRunner-up Present In an almost autonomic fashion, Stefanos stared down the bottom of his glass pensively before draining its contents. He delicately lay down the glass next to empty bottles of Penfold Grange of various years in the 1950s. The whiteness
Love and Hate
By Brian Feng Everyone has things they love and hate. Just using food as an example, I was shocked by the blasphemous nature of a conversation I had with my friend. F: “I don’t eat sushi because I hate seafood.” Me: “Why would you hate seafood?” F: “It’s just slimy…and
Fresher’s Rice Purity Score Drops to Negative After MedCamp
BY J.K Lolling On Monday, a day after MedCamp, a horde of first years were seen filtering into Wallace Wurth with croaky voices that regaled outrageous stories of their shared weekend to anyone that would listen. Sagging with absolute exhaustion, the mere mention of MedCamp caused them to perk up
A Letter to the First Years
By IVAN SHEN To the class of 2025, I write this letter to you to first congratulate all of you for finally fulfilling your dream. Strangely, while getting into medicine can feel somewhat like the finish line, it really is the opposite; it is the start of a journey which
How can we make a difference?
“I like to think a part of me, no matter how small, genuinely wanted to help others. I imagine the same would be true for you. Can there be anything nobler than saving a life?”
Q&A: From Detroit to the Whitsundays – A rural doctor’s journey to a balanced life
“Sonya smiles as I compliment the view, she tells me she doesn’t often have the time to appreciate it. We tend to forget the wonder of places the more accustomed we grow, and now into her 13th year in the town, thick roots down, she was well and truly accustomed.”
The Not-So-Wonderful World of Medical Eponyms
“Many commentators in recent decades have labelled the use of eponyms impractical, inaccurate and outdated, some even advocating to eliminate eponyms from the medical literature altogether in favour of more standardised terminology.”
Unusually High Spirit Symptoms Plague Med Cohort, Treatment Yet To Be Found
“UNSW’s medical students have returned from the break with uncharacteristically high spirits. MedFac has not yet isolated the causative agent, but they are very anxious to put a stop to it.”
In The Mood for Love
“Visual excess combined with a pared-back narrative characterise this nostalgic love letter to the director’s childhood, ultimately creating an experience that stays with one long after its final scenes.”
Med Students Petition for 3x Speed in Echo360
“Hundreds of students from all years of the UNSW medical program are gathered around in front of Wallace Wurth, holding a multitude of home-made signs that proclaimed “3x FOR PRESIDENT!”, “2x IS A CRIME” and “THREE’S FOR P’S”, to list a few.”
A Medical Student’s Take on Vulnerability
“If you’d asked me last year what vulnerability was, I would have said ‘giving someone else power’ or something about weakness and loss of control. Vulnerability certainly wasn’t a positive thing and definitely not something I was inclined to do by choice.”
Study: 92.4% of Med Cohort Reported High Levels of Psychological Distress Following Clinical Allocations
“10 am. 25th July. A singular student collapses in Clancy auditorium. A moment passes, her classmates follow. A wave ripples upwards through the masses as 2nd years everywhere succumb to its effects. What could possibly have caused this? Malaria? The flu? A particularly hard Gibson lecture?”
Phase 1 Student Attempts to Improve Understanding of HMB by Developing Borderline Alcoholism
“In preparation for the second scenario of Health Maintenance B, Mahdrink revealed that he had single-handedly discovered the greatest impetus (in his opinion*) to drink on a more regular basis. The rationale? To enhance his ability to empathise with patients struck by the cruel hand of alcoholism.”
Mental Health through the Monocle of Professor Ute Vollmer-Conna
by JULIANNA WAN and LUANA SAWMYNADEN Known fondly by UNSW medical students as Student Wellbeing Advisor, Professor Ute Vollmer-Conna opens up about her life before being the distinctive character we all love and cherish, attracting humans and animals alike and how to better care not only for ourselves, but also
“I didn’t study for EOC, I swear!”, says Med Student
“Characterised by constant interjections of “I’m so screwed, I haven’t studied at all!” into conversations completely unrelated to academics, even when secretly being caught up on most of the content, studies have shown that 1 in 3 medical students suffer from this affliction.”
Heart to Heart Takes On: Studying!
In honour of the very much current exam season (sigh), the Jugular family wishes to spare you the accompanying package deal of disheartening, self-doubting, staring-at-the-ceiling-in-a-self-hating-daze phase by focusing on *surprise surprise* studying! Thank you to everyone for submitting your wonderful questions, and hopefully, this serves as a gentle reminder that patience and kindness to oneself are just as important as to others. <3
Periodic Developmental Regression Observed in Med Students
“Every eight weeks, a remarkable transformation takes over the Medicine cohort. Formerly confident, well-rounded individuals seem to regress, forgetting their basic communicative and social skills. Many become capable of only reciting phrases inscribed on Anki cards, reportedly sourced from an entity known as the ‘Anki King’.”
Closer Look on Rural Health: Interview with Dr Skye Kinder
“Named the 2017 VIC Junior Doctor of the Year and the 2019 VIC Young Australian of the Year, Dr Skye Kinder is a passionate advocate for rural and other marginalised patients and their communities. Her interests lie in health policy, workforce planning, and service and process enhancement.”
Med Students Clueless about Trimesters and Other Uni Degrees
“The university’s first-ever trimester came to a spectacular end almost two weeks ago, causing regular students to recede into their warm beds to watch hours of Netflix, acquire vitamin D deficiency and bask in the comfort of their break.”
The Psychology of Failure: The Royal Tenenbaums, Melancholy and Growing Pains
Anderson’s creativity, attention to detail and offbeat sense of humour have been celebrated, referenced and parodied time after time, and contribute to a unique style that is undeniably his.
Med Applicant Outraged After Getting Rejected from Top Medical School
“It’s not that clear cut though. Have you seen my CV? It’s simply glorious. Magnificent. Two-time Olympic gold medallist. CEO of my own billion-dollar start-up. And 2000 hours of volunteering to boot. What’s not to love?
Yet against all odds, I’m sitting out here, a diamond in the rough. I’ve got no idea what went wrong with the selection process.”
Med Student Sells Soul to Insurance Company for ‘Sick’ Water Bottle
“I mean, I figured that because I never gave them my bank details I wouldn’t get roped into anything too bad. I only gave them my name, address, date of birth, signature, driver’s license number, fingerprints and a mouth swab – you know, the usual. It’s not much to hand over when you’re given something sick in exchange. Look at it, it’s glass!”
THE ULTIMATE STUDY GUIDE (for Phase 1 newbies and oldies)
Read The Jugular’s golden advice on having Type A time management skills, perfecting old and new study techniques, the time-tested way of tackling each medical discipline in exams and the unspeakable phenomenon of cramming.
